Domestic Violence

Domestic violence affects almost all of women, as there is someone in each of our lives suffering in a violent relationship. Whether you are a victim, or know someone that is, the goal is surviving and living a happy, healthy life beyond the violence. 




If you are not a victim, it may be hard to imagine that people deliberately hurt the ones they claim to love. Victims have a hard time believing it as well. And so begins the cycle. Many victims leave their violent situation, only to return several times over for one reason, or another. 

The Domestic Violence Cycle

Knowing the domestic violence cycle will help you understand what is going on in your relationship with your abuser.

As you look at this cycle, I hope you can look at it from your abuser's point of view...and remember that your abuser's only purpose in abusing you is to gain and maintain total control over you! This is NOT your fault!

The domestic violence cycle has three phases:

Tension building: As hard as you try, nothing you do is right, or good enough.Please be careful and try to defuse any situations. This is the time when your abuser is wanting to gain, or maintain control and is setting things up for the next phase of this cycle.

Battering: Every victims scariest moment. Again try hard to defuse the situation, and be careful!! Leaving is the most dangerous moment in a domestic violence situation, if you think you will live through this moment, plan to leave during the next phase. Otherwise, call the police now!!

Honeymoon: Your abuser may apologize, or blame you for what just took place in the previous phase. The abuser will act like things are normal, or be extra nice to insure that you won't report the abuse. The abuser may start making plans for something you have wanted, plans for the family, plans for the future...whatever the abuser thinks will keep you in this relationship.

Here, you have a song about domestic abuse: